I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
id be glad to
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your dad took our porno
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize