so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
it's like heaven, but drunker
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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