I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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