I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
