the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
