so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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