He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
