some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
