I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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