where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
