This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
