Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
