He is an equal opportunity slut.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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