You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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