In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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