that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
