I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Randomize
