she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
