so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
