So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
