You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
