I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
