i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
