i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
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maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
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This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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