I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
All I want is dick and wine.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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