so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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