the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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