your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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