just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
