jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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