dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
40s are totally the cure
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
