No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
It's never too late to be topless.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
