So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
