just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
