Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
