Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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