Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
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I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
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Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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