i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
you win again, gameday.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize
