a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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