To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
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Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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