the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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