Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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