How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
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normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
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Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
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