He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
