I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
