What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
