i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
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His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
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There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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