That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
and you fell through a lawn chair
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
