I cockslap morals
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
