only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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