I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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