just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
