Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
