you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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