I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
