there's paper in my vomit.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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