if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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