I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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