Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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