is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Randomize
