I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
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